it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
