Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
How does one acquire holy water?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
