Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
