i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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