I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
