real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize