am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Randomize
