worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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