Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
