who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
