I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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