k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
