I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
