google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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