i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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