yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
