just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
