I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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