I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
