One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
