i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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