Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
