Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
