All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
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Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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