Duck Duck Cougar?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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