He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
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