You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
My life is pants optional.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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