I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
