The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
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its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
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Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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