Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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