I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
