i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
