escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
