I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
