My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
