Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
