Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
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