i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
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