is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I'm both gender and math confused
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
