i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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