Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
