I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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