Pants 0. Shit 1.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
