I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
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Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
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We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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