My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
