I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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