Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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