Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
