my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
