You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
