He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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