I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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