Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
