I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
