I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
