You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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