How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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