Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
