I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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