i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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