Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
