she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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