He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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