so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
